are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
