The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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