Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
