when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
