i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
