so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
