I look better un-naked...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
