Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
