Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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