My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
