Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
