i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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