Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm passing your future prison.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will be naked everywhere
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
