Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
