Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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