hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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