Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
