she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
