Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
