Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
