I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my poor anus
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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