I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
