Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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