Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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