I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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