OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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