I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
