last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think people are normalizing furries
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
