the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just cropdusted the office
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
