This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize