Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
