FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
