I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
