What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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