i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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