Me. At least after what I've been through.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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