you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
