How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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