I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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