He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
