Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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