just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
