I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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