When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
