and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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