I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
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he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The struggles of a small town man whore
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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