His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
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next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.