its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.