he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
