Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.

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  (570): She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex. http://tfl.nu/nznj
  Replies (27) Good night (2539) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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  (508): Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby http://tfl.nu/pq9s
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (2832)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

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  (917): I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas http://tfl.nu/eh4r
  Replies (58) Good night (1162) Bad night (6158)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4727) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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  (631): we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!" http://tfl.nu/dw66
  Replies (15) Good night (3439) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.

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  (404): standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture. http://tfl.nu/15y7
  Replies (36) Good night (12682) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My face left an imprint in the loaf...

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  (215): I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning (215): My face left an imprint in the loaf... http://tfl.nu/s8i8
  Replies (12) Good night (4780) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?

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  (516): what's the name of that soccar player i bit again? http://tfl.nu/zrsr
  Replies (8) Good night (2431) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...

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  (267): Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket... http://tfl.nu/72dv
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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  (435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa
  Replies (4) Good night (1047) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook

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  (562): Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook http://tfl.nu/7qsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1331) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray

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  (970): Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray http://tfl.nu/kfk1
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants

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  (919): Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants http://tfl.nu/k1dy
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...

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  (603): Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life... http://tfl.nu/r8ks
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.

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  (253): We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken. http://tfl.nu/e42q
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (318)

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