12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
