At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
