Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
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I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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