Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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