it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
