i just had sex bonerless
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
