The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ugly people sure do ruin things
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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