Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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