And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
