So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
