My brain says no but my pants say off.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
