btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
