How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
