wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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