these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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