just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
