windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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