it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
