i think my mom watched the whole time
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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