got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He passed out mid-signature
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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