Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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