Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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