I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
