you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
